First off. This has been one of the most difficult articles to write. It’s been in my drafts for over 2 years now. But after writing and re-writing, I realized I needed to just complete it. It’s my why for everyday, and one of the most important choices that I made years ago.🫶 I’m in a community where we all as moms have chosen a different path and directions but still are able to be in fellowship with one another through the body of Christ. It’s a blessing. But with it comes some differences in lifestyles and home life. I wanted to preface this by just stating that I am sharing this as a stay at home mom that made this decision before I was even married. And also, how I came to this conclusion in hopes to encourage and inspire other young teens and women searching for their future plans, to seek God’s will and guidance for their life.
Here goes.
Both of my toddlers have been going to Sunday school for a little while now, and it’s made me quite thoughtful about some things.
I just can’t believe I have 2 children in the littles’ class, and I also can’t believe that I’m their mama. I hoped for this since I was a little girl and now it’s here. I dreamed of having a family of my own. Just thinking about Sunday school as a child knowing they get to experience it too brings back so many fond memories. I love it when they run out of class to find me and show me what they colored and learned about. The excitement is precious.
It’s often spoken that God opens and closes doors. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God opened the doors for me to be where I am today as a wife and mother of 2 kids and 1 on the way at 24 years of age.
Looking back there’s so many points in time my path could’ve been different, so easily. But, it wasn’t.
Some do, but many don’t know, that as a young girl my dreams were not only to become a wife and mom, but also to pursue a career as a recording artist. I took voice lessons for 6+ years starting at 9 years old. My teacher told me I had the potential to pursue this career if I really wanted to put the effort into it. I poured hours and years into training my voice.
I loved singing, and I honestly still do. You’ll often find me at home doing a chore with my kids belting out Hillsong praise, or in the car jamming to the early 2000’s Christian music. It’s a major part of my life still, just ask my kids!
But back then, I was so torn. I wanted to be a wife and mom, but I wanted to pursue this part of me I loved so much.
I remember it so distinctly tho, the time my dad had a conversation with me as a younger teen one afternoon, when our family was talking about goals and life aspirations. My parents knew how much I loved singing. They had invested in me those many years of voice lessons. But it was in this conversation that my wise dad brought me to a realization. Something that stung at first but I think I had already known to be true.
In order for me to spiritually be where God wanted me to, I wouldn’t be the best wife and mother I could be if I was splitting my goals to pursue something that would take my time, energy, and my full attention off of raising a godly family.
It wasn’t the easiest thing for me to process, but I knew he was right. I’ve seen first hand and heard the sacrifices of many women that have had to chose between the 2 and the struggle and conflict it is. While I’m not sharing all this, to criticize other women who didn’t come to this same conclusion as me, I’m sharing it because I know their are other teens like me that had these dreams- these goals. That even tho they have purpose to them, that doesn’t always mean it’s the path that God is leading you to.
When I came to the realization that I knew which direction God would want me to take, I put my other dream aside. Not pursuing it didn’t mean I didn’t care about it anymore or that I didn’t value it, or even that I wouldn’t use it in parts of my life. It just meant pursuing what I knew spiritually to be best for me. It meant denying my fleshly desire, to pursue a more meek and quiet but just as purposeful life. Do I regret this decision? No. But are there days I wonder what it would’ve been like? Certainly.
Here’s the thing though. God opened these doors. And he opened them even more clearly than I could’ve EVER imagined. These doors may not have opened in my time, but they opened when God knew I would be ready for it.
I want to encourage you, If you’re in the wandering stage of life, to seek His counsel, study His Word, surround yourself with wise advice, and make your decision based on the best spiritual path for your walk with God. I’d encourage you as a woman to study Proverbs 31 and Titus 2. Both of these passages contain so much guidance and wisdom for us.
Don’t let what you see of celebrities and influencers who live loud lives, fool you into thinking you need that to be fulfilled too.
A quiet life brings a value of who you are capable of being without the praise of others.
Fast forward to today. God has blessed me with a husband who loves the Lord and works hard to provide for us. We live on one income and have learned with God’s help how to do it in each stage of life. We have two beautiful children, another on the way, a home we cherish, and I have a humble platform in which to share our ideals, inspiration, and stories behind these home walls.
While my childhood Sunday School days seem far away for me now. It also was some of the best days of my life. The pursuit of dreams and the passing of time often comes with a price. Pray for guidance to pursue the right path and your answer will come.
I’m thankful for the many women in the body of Christ that I am able to seek counsel and support from. Whether they’ve chosen the same path as me or not. Sharing the same God that has brought us through trials and miracles is what binds us together in love.
I pray this might bless someone.
Much love.
Fellow mamma,
Shantel Racine
