One topic I received when I did my polls at the beginning of the new year was “how to handle the hard days and stay patient in motherhood”. Wow. I mean that’s a whole load in and of itself.
I’d love to say that I handle this so well and have just the perfect thing that fixes it every time. But if I did, I’d be lying.
Two things that really press upon me when I write an article like this are that; one, I don’t want to convey that I have it all together, because I don’t, and two is this. Above all when I share my journey of motherhood I want it to be truthful and I want what I say about God, His work, and His Word to be accurate.
This is a topic that because I’ve struggled with it myself I have learned some ways to combat it and be able to work through it and/or recover from it. A perfect mom doesn’t exist, but the perfect mom for YOUR child is YOU. Every day as a SAHM and wife I get up and do my best with God’s help to make decisions and practices that are best for me and our son while my husband works. And I’m thankful each day for my husband’s support and leadership.
Motherhood is a beautiful thing. It’s also a full plate. Sometimes our plate is overflowing to the point that we break!
As I’m writing this I’m thinking of all the things that need to be done. Like the dishes, switch the laundry, start a deadline project, read with Hudson, check his diaper, take my vitamins. And the list goes on and on. I have the type of personality where I can’t just ignore any of them. I can do 1 or 2 at a time, but I can’t just leave them to do themselves or forget they’re there.
Some days Hudson’s having a great day, taking a good nap, eating great, enjoying playing with his toys etc. But then there’s days right from the get go, it’s rough. He just wants me, just wants to be consoled and held. Playing with his toys or books and games aren’t going to fix it, and he’s not in a great mood nor am I in a good state of mind.
And at this point, that’s where I choose to let it get to me or turn it around. I’m sorry to say that I’ve had many a mess up before I turned things around because I’m human and try to rely on myself to fix things rather than God’s help. But sometimes I can do it. Right when I see things going sour, I combat with these few powerful actions.
When I’ve reached this point, and it’s all gone to put, the first thing we try to do is STOP. Wherever we are and whatever we’re doing I just find a place to sit and we stop. Second, I JUST BREATH. And if I’ve snapped at Hudson in a wrong way or not given him the attention he deserves I apologize. I am not above corrections myself. Showing him affection and humility is one way we always connect. Finding what works emotionally to help calm you both and relax with your child is so helpful. Next, I find something that he and I can do together that he loves. Anything from just cuddling, to music and dancing, or reading his favorite book- 5 times if need be.
Another part of this situation that brings about calmness is prayer. It is a true weapon when asking God for not only his peace, but also discernment, patience, and forgiveness for when I’ve taken a wrong turn on my part to cause a rough day.
Lastly, I reevaluate what really has to be done today. If it’s not necessary and can be put off till the next day, then I won’t do it that day. The things that have to get done I’ll see as a priority to do in a timely manner that day. But I want him to know I’m there and love him more than material things.
Then usually at his nap time or when he’s content with an activity I use that time to do what is necessary and also do something that helps me recharge. Whether it’s writing or watching something, or reading, or a task I enjoy doing. If I haven’t had my God time yet that day which can be attributed to the rough day, then I’ll do that first. It’s amazing how much I glean from it. Doing something to fill your cup is vital to the harder days.
I realize everyone has different ways of working through motherhood. This is just what helps my son and me and I pray this may help your harder days too. I’d also love to hear in the comments below what helps you! Motherhood is the greatest gift and the most rewarding act of serving. I love my son and the many things God has taught me through his little life. Some days may be hard but O’ the sweet joy from the love of a child.
Xoxo, Shantel ❤️