I recently presented a study I did on the word “grave” from 1 Timothy 3:11 and it’s meaning us as women in the church. It was eye-opening and took on a whole new meaning to this word I’d never really thought much about till now. I wanted to share it here. I hope this is an encouragement to you! Comments are welcome!!📕
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Grave /Dignified
Written By Shantel Racine
Women’s Class
– “Their wives likewise must be grave (or dignified), not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.”
– 1 Timothy 3:11 ESV
When we all hear the word grave we think of either an actual grave that people are buried in or something very serious and usually wrong. So, I wanted to start out by giving the definition of the word grave and also point out that the word grave is also translated as dignity.
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Grave
Something that is serious or taken seriously or doing something in a solemn or sedate manner.
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Dignity
Having or showing a composed or serious manner that is worthy of respect.
the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect
These are serious words. For someone to say your grave or dignified means that you’re a respected person. Someone who is not irrational or obnoxious but considerate and honorable to others. It means you take important matters seriously. Especially today in our world I realized that this word has been very much lost in women’s society. When I thought about this, 3 particular ladies in the Bible came to mind. Esther, Ruth, and Hannah. Each of these ladies had qualities worthy of respect and honor, and we’re going to see that as we hear about each one. I also am going to explore a few ways we too can have the same qualities of being a dignified woman today.
Ruth: I want to start off with Ruth. The story of Ruth is a great example of selflessness and devotion. She left everything she had ever known to move to another country with her mother-in-law and adapt to their customs and traditions. When they arrived, it relates how Ruth took responsibility for them and went to glean in the field of Boaz so as to provide food for their table. She saw the need and took action to do her part. Later in the chapter Boaz sees her working and it says she found favor in his eyes. And in chapter 2 verse 11 it says Boaz replied, “I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband—how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before.” This verse right here shows that she was known already in this town for her good works and honoring her mother-in-law. She saw the importance of this responsibility.
Later on, in chapter 3 we see how she goes through the traditional procedure to ask Boaz to take her as a wife. And in verse 10-11 it says 10 “The Lord bless you, my daughter,” he replied. “This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor. 11 And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character.” Noble character- what better phrase than that to describe dignity. The other part of this verse that’s so powerful is when he says “This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor,” That means she saw the seriousness and high importance of making the decision to remarry a man that was honorable himself. She didn’t go after anyone just to be remarried again or so as not to have to be in the situation that she was. No, she saw the graveness of making the honorable choice. Ruth’s whole story and how she saw the importance of her role gives us insight into how God uses even the humble for great things. Because at the end of this story of Ruth we see that she was the great-grandma of David, a man after God’s own heart.
Hannah: The next woman I want to talk about is Hannah. The story of Hannah is a story of hope, and how God sees us in our time of need. As we read through her story we see how Hannah is distraught over the fact that God has closed her womb. And even worse, she is provoked by her rival Peninnah her husband’s other wife. But not once do we see her fight back or even complain. Talk about humility! As we read on in her story we see how it finally causes so much hurt that In verse 10-11 it says “In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. 11 And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.” Instead of getting angry, Hannah went to the Lord in prayer. How often do we do that? Is that the first thing we do when we’re upset, angry, hurt, or jealous? How better way to inhibit dignity than to step away from conflict and seek help straight from the giver of peace. The other aspect of this is her show of how serious she was about this matter. She was so serious that she made a vow to give her child to the Lord’s work.
As we read on we see how God blesses her with the gift of baby Samuel. And she keeps her vow with the Lord “ So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life, he will be given over to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.” As a mom with a newborn, I can’t even begin to imagine wanting a child so badly and then when given one give him away. But Hannah saw the importance of keeping her word and her son serving the Lord. What an honorable woman.
Esther: The last lady I want to talk about is Esther. This is my favorite character in the Bible and her story inspires me. At the beginning of this book, we see how Esther is raised by Mordecai, her relative. Many of us know the amazing story of how she became the wife of King Ahasuerus and kept the secret of her nationality safe the entire time. We see in chapter 4 a plot to kill all the Jews. In verse 6 it reads “
6 So Hathak went out to Mordecai in the open square of the city in front of the king’s gate. 7 Mordecai told him everything that had happened to him, including the exact amount of money Haman had promised to pay into the royal treasury for the destruction of the Jews. 8 He also gave him a copy of the text of the edict for their annihilation, which had been published in Susa, to show to Esther and explain it to her, and he told him to instruct her to go into the king’s presence to beg for mercy and plead with him for her people. 9 Hathak went back and reported to Esther what Mordecai had said. 10 Then she instructed him to say to Mordecai, 11 “All the king’s officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that they be put to death unless the king extends the gold scepter to them and spares their lives. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king.” 12 When Esther’s words were reported to Mordecai, 13 he sent back this answer: “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. 14 For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” 15 Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: 16 “Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”
The aspect I want to point out in this passage is that Esther saw the significance of the matter. She didn’t laugh it off as if it was a joke. She didn’t shrug it off just because she was the queen that she should be surely spared. No, she saw the need for a solution, new she could do something and took a chance to save her people. What a dignified thing to do.
Now when it came time to go in to see the king, we read, she did not immediately tell him of the plot but rather she says 4 “If it pleases the king,” replied Esther, “let the king, together with Haman, come today to a banquet I have prepared for him.” I often wondered growing up why she didn’t just come right out and tell him while she had the chance. After pondering it, it came to mind that perhaps she did this to show her dignity and respect for the king. Instead of obnoxiously panicking and blaming the king she showed honor by preparing dinner for the king and waiting for the proper time and place to tell him. Growing up we are often told there is a time and place for everything, and I think Esther really saw the importance of this phrase, and made the wise decision.
In the end, the king granted her petition to do what he could to save the Jews, and in Esther 8:8 it says 8 Now write another decree in the king’s name on behalf of the Jews as seems best to you, and seal it with the king’s signet ring—for no document written in the king’s name and sealed with his ring can be revoked.” What an honor! He trusted his wife and knew that she would not act irrationally but would take the matter seriously. Fellow wives, we should strive for this with our husbands, they should have surety in knowing that we will be sincere and make wise decisions.
The last thing I want to discuss is how we as women can inhibit this character trait ourselves. How can we show dignity, and be worthy of respect? As I reflected on these three women these are some things that came to mind.
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Not acting out irrationally. Stop and pray before you respond in a situation. Hannah didn’t act out in rage against Peninah or even God but rather just went to him in prayer sharing her desire and grief.
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Take our responsibilities and life purposes seriously. Whether you’re a stay at home mom or a secretary, each needs to be seen as an opportunity to show dignity. Also our responsibilities in the church. God should be pleased with the effort we put into our spiritual responsibilities. We are each given them for a reason and should see the seriousness of not shrugging them off.
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Submit to our husbands. Esther honored her husband and saw his role as an important and powerful person. And if you are single like Ruth, use your efforts to give of your time and energy to someone in need or elderly. There are lots of opportunities to do this.
In closing,
After studying this word grave/dignity I saw how God used women of all different circumstances to lead lives of dignity. From the humble means of Ruth to the royal figure Esther was, God used these women to give us examples of how we should act in serious situations. So I ask this, if these women can do it, with God’s help, and we have the Holy Spirit-why shouldn’t you and me?
Thank you.
