Thursday Thoughts, “Mommy Wars”

I should not be defining my child’s worth based on their physical appearance, but in Christ.

(Sharing this, as it’s been on my mind and heart this year.)

This past spring I read a book called “Mom Enough” I highly recommend it for any mom. In it, there’s a segment that brought up this concept called “mommy wars”. It’s what happens when moms often compare kids physcial/material traits with each other.

As moms, sometimes this happens intentionally due to insecurity, and the need for acceptance. (Gal 1:10) And sometimes it can happen unknowingly, just due to the culture that we live in.

I’ll be the first to confess that when Hudson was born, I took pride in his physical traits. I’m ashamed. But as time went on, and he became more mobile and gained weight less quickly, I realized something. I had created an ego in it. I put too much of his worth based on these things. I was cheating my son out of becoming the unique wonderful boy God made him to be, no matter his physical appearance! (Psalm 139)

The more I became aware of this, I felt the need to purposefully care less about these. Physical doesn’t last. In some cases for health purposes these can be important. But more often then not, it’s become a badge of pride that we wear around to catch attention.

The more we boast in these things of our children, the more we have to keep up with them. Not only to mention, that we are teaching our children that these physical traits are so important that as they grow, they feel the need to compare as well.

Let it not be so! My child needs to hear out of my mouth from this young of age, that his worth is based on these things: that he lives a life of truth like Jesus, treats others like He would, knows God’s Word, and understands grace and compassion, the value of hard work, and taking care of his body that God gave him as a temple. (1 Cor 6:19)

If my child grows up to see that his worth is in these things, then he won’t feel the need to compare. He won’t define himself by his physical traits, but rather his spiritual walk in Christ.

I still struggle with it. And as a mom, I probably will for a while. But I know the more I define my identity in Christ, the more my child will see the reflection of that in my life and find that identity too.

Xoxo, Shantel